Loss

In Louisa Hall’s novel, Speak, loss seems to be an apparent theme. From Karl Dettmann feeling Ruth slowly slipping away to Alan Turing losing his best friend and partner in research, Chris. The constant appearance of the characters struggling to stay sane after suffering loss made me reflect back on my life and what it is like to feel loss. Whether the loss is through death or simply growing further from someone, it still leaves a significant impact.

It is clear through Mary’s journal entries that Ralph was her lifeline. When Mary lost Ralph, she often wondered to herself why she should go on. She wondered why she should continue the journey without Ralph and even contemplated suicide to be with him” (Hall 152). When Gaby lost her baby bot, she felt that she could never go back to normal. She couldn’t fathom life without her.

“Empty words. Cannot conjure him back. Why continue to write, and Ralph’s body absent?” (Hall 149).

“Passing over the sea, leaving Ralph’s bones behind. Was overtaken by pain. Impossible to bear anymore. Want only to join Ralph under the sea, settled at last. Reached for knife stolen from deck. Unsheathed blade, held it to my throat. Felt metal press into skin. Gently, pulled it across. Somewhere else, I am with Ralph. In this world, unscathed, my body went back to bed” (Hall 152).

One of the first steps of handling loss is often denial and confusion. When I got news that one of my friends back home died in a car accident, the world stopped. There I stood in the middle of the dance floor when everything around me seemed to pause. Thoughts flooded my head of thinking that it was a just a joke but I also knew that it couldn’t be a joke. Next, I thought what to do. I knew that realistically, there wasn’t anything I could do but thinking of it made me feel the slightest bit better. I predict this is how it went for Mary. When Ralph blew overboard I’m sure everything around her stopped while she processed everything. I’m sure that when Karl looks at Ruth, his world stops as he wonders how they got to the point they are today.

Even though these characters are living in a fictional world, they still face loss. Loss is, without a doubt, a big factor in our lives and shapes how we view the world and each other. If we never lost anything or anyone, would we value things notably less? Is the prospect of losing someone/something what causes us to love harder and care deeper? Can only living things feel loss? We see in the novel that even Eva feels that something is missing from her life after being taken away. As seen in Toy Story, how realistic is it for our childhood toys to feel loss or neglect? Or are we mirroring our own sense of empathy onto them which they seemingly reflect back to us?